Description:
I just had another feedback session where my manager mostly focused on vague negatives and didnโt mention any strengths or ways I could improve. It feels like they come to these meetings unprepared and just want to check a box, rather than actually help me grow. This keeps happening across different teams too, so is this a common thing with managers? Where are they missing the mark when it comes to giving useful performance feedback that actually motivates employees instead of just stressing them out?
5 Answers
Managers often skip prepping and lean heavily on vague negatives because itโs easier than digging into specifics. They forget feedback isnโt therapy; without actionable points or mentioning positives, it just feels like criticism for the sake of it. Some probably avoid real talk to dodge uncomfortable conversations or because they have zero training in this stuff. Expecting motivation from that is... optimistic at best.
Feedback sessions turn into stress fests when managers come in with just โyou need to do betterโ and no real examples or clear steps. Seen it happen loadsโif they donโt prep by tracking actual wins or setting concrete goals, it feels like a box-checking exercise. When I got fed up with that, I started sending simple progress updates before meetings; forced my manager to actually talk specifics. That changed the vibe quite a bit.
Managers fall into the trap of focusing solely on what went wrong because itโs faster and feels productive. They skip concrete examples and leave out strengths to avoid the effort of meaningful conversation. This approach kills motivationโwithout clear actions or balanced praise, feedback becomes just needless negativity. The real failure is treating these sessions like a compliance task instead of an opportunity for growth, which requires preparation and specific, actionable insights that many managers simply donโt bother with.
Most managers treat feedback like a choreโshow up, dump vague complaints, skip strengths, no actionable advice. Itโs not about helping you grow; itโs about covering their ass in HR files. Real growth needs specifics and balanceโsomething they rarely prepare for or prioritize because soft skills arenโt measured on quarterly reports.
Feedback sessions Iโve been stuck in where managers only dropped vague negatives usually came down to zero prep and a fear of awkwardness, so they stuck with broad complaints and ignored specifics or positives. When theyโd actually list 2-3 clear examples and paired that with something I did well, even a tiny thing, it made the whole thing less brutal and way more useful for me to tweak stuff next time. That combo took them maybe 10-15 minutes prep but cut a lot of stress from these chats.
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