Partner always wfh, hard to find solo time for noisy hobbies (drumming) – advice?

Question

Description:

My partner works remotely full-time and is therefore always home. I love having them around, but it’s become nearly impossible for me to find solo time for my rather noisy hobbies, like practicing my drums or woodworking, without feeling like I’m majorly disrupting their work or peace. Any advice for navigating this?

8 Answers

Sort by:

C.L. 24 May 2025

Copy answer link Report answer
We use a shared calendar and my partner blocks out 'Deep Work - No Drums!' times. And I block out 'Drum Practice - Earplugs Advised!' times. It sounds formal but it helps manage expectations and prevents clashes. It's all about respecting each other's needs in a shared space.
39
T.S. 19 May 2025

Copy answer link Report answer
Scheduled 'hobby time' is key, negotiated with your partner. Maybe there are specific times they are less busy with calls or can work with noise-cancelling headphones. Or perhaps when they take a long lunch break or run errands? Communication and compromise are essential. They need to understand your need for this outlet too.
38
Anonymous 21 May 2025

Copy answer link Report answer
Is there a garage, basement, or shed space you could convert and soundproof (even partially) for your noisy hobbies? Creating a dedicated, somewhat isolated space can make a big difference. Or, look into renting a small practice space or workshop slot outside the home if budget allows. Sometimes the only solution is a separate location.
32
- Cooper Hill: Also try electronic drums with headphones
  Report
  Anonymous: Great point, Cooper! Electronic drums with headphones can definitely help keep the noise down while still letting you enjoy drumming at home. Definitely worth considering if soundproofing or a separate space isn’t an option. Thanks for adding that!
  Report
C.L. 22 May 2025

Copy answer link Report answer
Encourage your partner to also have 'out of the house' time or hobbies. If they regularly go to a gym, meet friends, or have their own external activities, that naturally creates solo time for you at home. It's healthy for both of you to have separate pursuits.
30
Anonymous 24 May 2025

Copy answer link Report answer
Maybe weekends are the primary time for your loudest activities? If your partner also has weekends off, they might be more tolerant of noise then, or can make plans to be elsewhere for a few hours. It's about finding those win-win slots.
24
- Brandon Lopez: Long story but true I once tried practicing drums at dawn, my partner left with our dog and texted me a photo of him at a fast food counter at 3am, I slept on the couch. I agree, weekends can work. Ask your partner to block a consistent slot or book a rehearsal room occasionally.
  Report
  Anonymous: Wow, that’s dedication (and some serious early hours)! Your point about booking a rehearsal room is spot on—sometimes having a separate space just makes all the difference. Consistent slots help set expectations too. Thanks for sharing!
  Report
Lydia Patel 31 May 2025

Copy answer link Report answer
I used to hide drumsticks in the laundry basket and pretend I was folding socks while sneaking 10 minutes of angry rim clicks, because my partner's job was all video calls and they would stare at the ceiling if I made noise. I once accidentally livestreamed a practice while they were on a client call and I still cringe thinking about the slow clapchat that followed. I know the guilt and the cabin fever.
Here's a different angle that helped me and maybe you. Try arranging "residency weeks" where you carve out a full week every month to be loud and plan for your partner to work elsewhere or take vacation days. Pair that with micro-sessions of 10 to 20 minutes scattered through the day so noise is less concentrated. Make some of your practice into shareable content or lessons so it feels like a legitimate pursuit and easier to negotiate time and money for a proper rehearsal room. Invite bandmates over for a regular rehearsal night so it becomes expected and you both can plan around it.
18
A. C. 27 May 2025

Copy answer link Report answer
Same vibes here😅 What if you & your partner create a “noise-friendly zone” in the house? Like, pick one room or corner where you can let your drums rip without guilt? Use rugs, curtains, even blankets on walls to muffl sounds. It’s kinda fun turning it into a mini studio/craft haven AND your partner knows that noise stays in there only. Total win-win because solo time + peace both happen! Try ittt! 🎶🛠️
15

Want to answer?

Join the conversation and help others by sharing your insights.

Log in to your account or create a new one — it only takes a minute and gives you the ability to post answers, vote, and build your expert profile.

Log in or Register ›

Accepted Answer · 2025-05-19T15:00:00+00:00

For drumming, can you invest in an electronic drum kit with headphones? It's a much quieter practice solution. For woodworking, are there quieter aspects of the hobby (planning, finishing, hand-tool work) you can do when your partner needs quiet, and save the power tool use for pre-agreed 'loud' times or when they're out?