Partner always wfh, hard to find solo time for noisy hobbies (drumming) – advice?

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My partner works remotely full-time and is therefore always home. I love having them around, but it’s become nearly impossible for me to find solo time for my rather noisy hobbies, like practicing my drums or woodworking, without feeling like I’m majorly disrupting their work or peace. Any advice for navigating this?

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C.L. 24 May 2025

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We use a shared calendar and my partner blocks out 'Deep Work - No Drums!' times. And I block out 'Drum Practice - Earplugs Advised!' times. It sounds formal but it helps manage expectations and prevents clashes. It's all about respecting each other's needs in a shared space.
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T.S. 19 May 2025

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Scheduled 'hobby time' is key, negotiated with your partner. Maybe there are specific times they are less busy with calls or can work with noise-cancelling headphones. Or perhaps when they take a long lunch break or run errands? Communication and compromise are essential. They need to understand your need for this outlet too.
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Anonymous 21 May 2025

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Is there a garage, basement, or shed space you could convert and soundproof (even partially) for your noisy hobbies? Creating a dedicated, somewhat isolated space can make a big difference. Or, look into renting a small practice space or workshop slot outside the home if budget allows. Sometimes the only solution is a separate location.
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- Cooper Hill: Also try electronic drums with headphones
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  Anonymous: Great point, Cooper! Electronic drums with headphones can definitely help keep the noise down while still letting you enjoy drumming at home. Definitely worth considering if soundproofing or a separate space isn’t an option. Thanks for adding that!
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C.L. 22 May 2025

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Encourage your partner to also have 'out of the house' time or hobbies. If they regularly go to a gym, meet friends, or have their own external activities, that naturally creates solo time for you at home. It's healthy for both of you to have separate pursuits.
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Anonymous 24 May 2025

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Maybe weekends are the primary time for your loudest activities? If your partner also has weekends off, they might be more tolerant of noise then, or can make plans to be elsewhere for a few hours. It's about finding those win-win slots.
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- Brandon Lopez: Long story but true I once tried practicing drums at dawn, my partner left with our dog and texted me a photo of him at a fast food counter at 3am, I slept on the couch. I agree, weekends can work. Ask your partner to block a consistent slot or book a rehearsal room occasionally.
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  Anonymous: Wow, that’s dedication (and some serious early hours)! Your point about booking a rehearsal room is spot on—sometimes having a separate space just makes all the difference. Consistent slots help set expectations too. Thanks for sharing!
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Lydia Patel 31 May 2025

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I used to hide drumsticks in the laundry basket and pretend I was folding socks while sneaking 10 minutes of angry rim clicks, because my partner's job was all video calls and they would stare at the ceiling if I made noise. I once accidentally livestreamed a practice while they were on a client call and I still cringe thinking about the slow clapchat that followed. I know the guilt and the cabin fever.
Here's a different angle that helped me and maybe you. Try arranging "residency weeks" where you carve out a full week every month to be loud and plan for your partner to work elsewhere or take vacation days. Pair that with micro-sessions of 10 to 20 minutes scattered through the day so noise is less concentrated. Make some of your practice into shareable content or lessons so it feels like a legitimate pursuit and easier to negotiate time and money for a proper rehearsal room. Invite bandmates over for a regular rehearsal night so it becomes expected and you both can plan around it.
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A. C. 27 May 2025

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Same vibes here😅 What if you & your partner create a “noise-friendly zone” in the house? Like, pick one room or corner where you can let your drums rip without guilt? Use rugs, curtains, even blankets on walls to muffl sounds. It’s kinda fun turning it into a mini studio/craft haven AND your partner knows that noise stays in there only. Total win-win because solo time + peace both happen! Try ittt! 🎶🛠️
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Anonymous 25 Aug 2025

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I get where you’re coming from because once I lived with someone who worked from home too and it felt like there was rarely a moment where I wasn’t stepping on their call or feeling weird about noise. What helped me was turning my hobbies into a sort of “performance art” they could watch during breaks so it didn’t feel too separate or disruptive. Like, sometimes I’d invite my partner to watch me drum for 10 minutes or show off what I made in woodworking, almost like we were sharing that space and those moments instead of me hiding and feeling guilty. It kind of broke the barrier so when I practiced alone later, it didn’t feel as if I was sneaking around or disturbing an invisible fortress of calm they built. The secret sauce is blending your noisy hobbies into the shared home vibe occasionally so it’s less like an interruption but more like a social interaction with noise as part of your joint reality. This doesn’t totally replace solo time but changes the feeling around it radically.
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N. G. 30 Jun 2025

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Try shifting some of your noisy hobby time to early mornings or late evenings when your partner might be less focused on work. Even if it’s just 30 minutes, it can feel like solo time without interrupting their day. Also, use a white noise machine near their workspace to mask sounds. It helps them concentrate and lets you practice without feeling guilty about the noise. Small timing tweaks can make a big difference.
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Accepted Answer · 2025-05-19T15:00:00+00:00

For drumming, can you invest in an electronic drum kit with headphones? It's a much quieter practice solution. For woodworking, are there quieter aspects of the hobby (planning, finishing, hand-tool work) you can do when your partner needs quiet, and save the power tool use for pre-agreed 'loud' times or when they're out?