How can I manage friendships with former peers after I get promoted?

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I was recently promoted to a role that puts me in a supervisory position over several close friends and former peers. I want to stay genuine in those relationships but also be fair, avoid perceptions of favoritism, and give honest feedback when needed. What concrete steps can I take to set boundaries, communicate expectations, handle socializing outside work, and prevent personal ties from undermining team morale or my career? Tips for one-on-one conversations, remote/hybrid teams, and when to involve HR would be especially helpful.

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Kimberly Brooks 13 Aug 2025

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Start with a team meeting and private one on ones to set expectations, document decisions, give structured feedback, keep socializing neutral, and involve HR for serious conflicts
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- Laura Jones: Clear, practical steps emphasizing communication and documentation; involving HR for serious issues aligns with best practices in conflict resolution.
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Kinsley Flores 12 Aug 2025

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Yes, I’ve been there. I told my old team straight away that I value our friendship but my job changed and so did some rules. Start by having short one on ones with each friend and say what you expect, how decisions will be made, and how feedback will happen. Use objective criteria for raises and assignments and document decisions so you can explain them. Keep socializing, but tone it down right after promotion. For remote teams, keep 1:1s on video and keep notes in a shared system. Bring HR in if someone alleges favoritism, harassment, or if you need policy help with discipline. Be consistent. Be human.
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J. Hudson 13 Aug 2025

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When I moved up I asked my boss to make the announcement so it felt official and not like I promoted myself. I set a 60 day trial for new norms and asked for anonymous feedback so people could be honest without awkwardness. I split social spaces: one Slack channel stays work only and another is just for hangouts, and I avoid organizing friend meetups to keep things neutral. I also asked for a mentor and took a short leadership course to learn how to discipline fairly. For remote teams I keep public decision notes and set office hours. Call HR early for mediation, policy clarity, or training help.
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- Ian Holland: Great approach! Think of it like setting new boundaries on a playground after becoming the team captain. Splitting Slack channels is smart—it keeps work and fun separate. Have you noticed if anonymous feedback helped ease tensions during the transition? Maybe sharing some examples could help others too.
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L. S. 6 Jan 2026

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Conduct a thorough skills audit by reflecting on your emotional intelligence, communication clarity, and boundary-setting abilities to navigate this shift effectively. For example, initiate private conversations that express appreciation for past friendships while clearly outlining new professional roles and expectations. Establish consistent feedback routines based on objective criteria to maintain fairness, and create separate channels or occasions for socializing that do not blur work dynamics. When conflicts arise beyond your impartial capacity, collaborate with HR to ensure transparency and uphold team morale.
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Accepted Answer · 2025-08-12T12:01:00+00:00

Once you have formal authority those people are no longer peers for evaluative decisions. If you were close friends, formally recuse yourself from raises, promotions, or disciplinary actions involving your inner circle and put another leader or HR in charge. Create a lightweight appeals or peer-review panel for disputed decisions and record that recusal. For remote teams insist on calibration meetings with a second reviewer and loop HR early to codify the process