Description:
I was recently promoted to a role that puts me in a supervisory position over several close friends and former peers. I want to stay genuine in those relationships but also be fair, avoid perceptions of favoritism, and give honest feedback when needed. What concrete steps can I take to set boundaries, communicate expectations, handle socializing outside work, and prevent personal ties from undermining team morale or my career? Tips for one-on-one conversations, remote/hybrid teams, and when to involve HR would be especially helpful.
3 Answers
Yes, I’ve been there. I told my old team straight away that I value our friendship but my job changed and so did some rules. Start by having short one on ones with each friend and say what you expect, how decisions will be made, and how feedback will happen. Use objective criteria for raises and assignments and document decisions so you can explain them. Keep socializing, but tone it down right after promotion. For remote teams, keep 1:1s on video and keep notes in a shared system. Bring HR in if someone alleges favoritism, harassment, or if you need policy help with discipline. Be consistent. Be human.
When I moved up I asked my boss to make the announcement so it felt official and not like I promoted myself. I set a 60 day trial for new norms and asked for anonymous feedback so people could be honest without awkwardness. I split social spaces: one Slack channel stays work only and another is just for hangouts, and I avoid organizing friend meetups to keep things neutral. I also asked for a mentor and took a short leadership course to learn how to discipline fairly. For remote teams I keep public decision notes and set office hours. Call HR early for mediation, policy clarity, or training help.
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